*I found this posts in my drafts from last year or even the year before and thought it was worth posting in the hope that it might be helpful. Any references to a husband please ignore as he’s not around anymore.

I was thinking about this last week and it came into my head yesterday as I was in London with my husband trying to buy me trainers….not much luck btw….so I thought I’d do a little post as it made me think about my triggers and I thought I’d share a couple of my biggest current triggers. Don’t get me wrong this is not all that triggers me and it’s the ones that come randomly out of the blue that I wasn’t expecting that seem to still occasionally knock me on my arse. Other than that can you relate to any of these?

*Change – If something works but it gets changed it really bothers me and I feel I need to understand why otherwise I seem to get hooked up in the reasons why things have changed. Change could be anything from a shop changing the layout, a restaurant changing something from the menu, plans changing last minute and even down to having to buy new trainers…

*Shoe shopping! Or shopping for jeans! – the world has gone mad in my opinion 🤣😂 Knitted trainers and jeans that are too skinny for stick insects! Oh the stress… the amount of times yesterday I willed reality to change was to many to count! (I guess this would also be effected by change as jeans and trainers never used to be a problem) – to add to this as an edit, I now realize that I have some sort of hypersensitivity and it can be how the clothes or shoes feel on me that means I struggle to cope in these situations as I need to find the right ones that don’t cause me this sort of reaction.

* Train stations – Anxiety is high at a train station but this comes from my past, from something my mum said to a therapist…I won’t go into it now but maybe you have guessed. My emotions can really be heightened in places like this.

*Injustice/ when things go against my values – I guess many people would probably have issues when it comes to this as why would we be happy to go against our values and beliefs. I can’t even watch the news anymore as it just upsets me as the news only really report negativity. I stopped as I worked out it’s unnecessary torture for me that I can’t really do anything about sadly. (frustration!)

* Big crowds – Sometimes this can really set of my anxiety and I can find that I just get overloaded and overwhelmed, add that to trying to do a task then it makes things so much more challenging and I need to use a lot of breathing exercises to stay calm these days.

I’m trying to be mindful of triggers at the moment so I can continue working on more effective reactions and ways to come with the tidal wave of emotions that comes with them.

I’m determined to find a way to enjoy the ups and downs and I think understanding myself and my reactions is really helping with that!

written in 2018 I THINK

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